What part of liberation for women is not for you? Is it the freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man that you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Vogue by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that stuff just get on your nerves?
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Liked this interview with Caitlin Moran on NPR's Fresh Air. From her book How to Be a Woman:
Boston
Heard this song while having lunch at The Percolator on Friday. I saw Augustana in concert once upon a time, tried unsuccessfully to play the intro on the piano. Aw, memories.
Friday, August 17, 2012
End of the week
Ahhh, the end of the week. There's always a combination of feelings on a Friday of a regular week:
1) Tired. Despite my best efforts I'm usually spent by 10 p.m., 11 at the latest.
2) Head spinning trying to process everything that happened during the week. This mental state usually lasts until late Saturday.
3) Body slightly amped up on caffeine, sugar and fat, which I allow myself to have on a Friday night, not so much during the week.
4) Excited. It hits me that I'm actually free to do what I want. I resolve to finish that book and watch those movies and go on a long hike and reconnect with friends and family. Usually my reach exceeds my grasp.
5) Lonely, now that the boyfriend is away. I wish he was around.
1) Tired. Despite my best efforts I'm usually spent by 10 p.m., 11 at the latest.
2) Head spinning trying to process everything that happened during the week. This mental state usually lasts until late Saturday.
3) Body slightly amped up on caffeine, sugar and fat, which I allow myself to have on a Friday night, not so much during the week.
4) Excited. It hits me that I'm actually free to do what I want. I resolve to finish that book and watch those movies and go on a long hike and reconnect with friends and family. Usually my reach exceeds my grasp.
5) Lonely, now that the boyfriend is away. I wish he was around.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Refined sugar fast: The aftermath
Finally I have time to write an update on the results of the refined sugar fast. The last day was Tuesday. Yes, I did stick to it after my NYC vacation days, no moments of weakness where I sneaked in a candy or two.
Some thoughts:
- The last few days of it I felt particularly energetic. I don't know if it was purely the result of my diet, but I'm sure it contributed. I was trying to memorize that feeling for the next time I feel lethargic and start wondering why, after I've eaten two chocolate bars and drunk 20 oz. of soda. Nutrition does matter after all, who knew?
- My mom made cinnamon apples (with sugar) on Monday night and the smell of it was soooo tempting. But I didn't eat them.
- On Wednesday I had some sugar again. I had a bowl of cereal that had sugar and a small chocolate candy. And that was it. It's funny, 30 days of not packing in the sugar had the intended effect. It made me not want it all the time. I didn't even eat any of the leftover cinnamon apples. Seeing how much healthier I feel I don't want to jeopardize it by bingeing on junk food.
- My stomach-area fat has gone down a little bit and my pants fit more loosely. So I have lost some weight. This has been the best diet I've been on, because it hasn't been so much about losing weight. Usually if I diet I rely on portion control. Two cookies instead of four. A small sandwich instead of a huge one. Cutting down at lunch and letting myself go hungry until dinner. But in these 30 days I never let myself be hungry for too long. I did go hungry a couple of times when I couldn't get to a sugar-free snack. But usually I allowed myself to eat as much of sugar-free snacks like fruit and nuts as I wanted and I also allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted on the salty end of the spectrum. So it didn't feel too much like deprivation, and I think that's what allowed me to get through it.
- I'm not putting myself on another diet right now but maybe there could be another round. No meat for 30 days? No fried food?
Some thoughts:
- The last few days of it I felt particularly energetic. I don't know if it was purely the result of my diet, but I'm sure it contributed. I was trying to memorize that feeling for the next time I feel lethargic and start wondering why, after I've eaten two chocolate bars and drunk 20 oz. of soda. Nutrition does matter after all, who knew?
- My mom made cinnamon apples (with sugar) on Monday night and the smell of it was soooo tempting. But I didn't eat them.
- On Wednesday I had some sugar again. I had a bowl of cereal that had sugar and a small chocolate candy. And that was it. It's funny, 30 days of not packing in the sugar had the intended effect. It made me not want it all the time. I didn't even eat any of the leftover cinnamon apples. Seeing how much healthier I feel I don't want to jeopardize it by bingeing on junk food.
- My stomach-area fat has gone down a little bit and my pants fit more loosely. So I have lost some weight. This has been the best diet I've been on, because it hasn't been so much about losing weight. Usually if I diet I rely on portion control. Two cookies instead of four. A small sandwich instead of a huge one. Cutting down at lunch and letting myself go hungry until dinner. But in these 30 days I never let myself be hungry for too long. I did go hungry a couple of times when I couldn't get to a sugar-free snack. But usually I allowed myself to eat as much of sugar-free snacks like fruit and nuts as I wanted and I also allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted on the salty end of the spectrum. So it didn't feel too much like deprivation, and I think that's what allowed me to get through it.
- I'm not putting myself on another diet right now but maybe there could be another round. No meat for 30 days? No fried food?
Saturday, August 04, 2012
New York, Part 2 update
My second visit to New York was equally interesting to the first. My first visit was like visiting an alien world, or actually more like discovering that a fairy tale city that I only knew of from TV and books actually did exist. I was beyond glamour-struck at the subway and the skyscrapers and the lifestyle.
Probably because of the impression that initial visit made I've been back to big cities again and again in the following years. I love big cities and won't rest until I've been to them all.
And yet New York still found ways to surprise and amaze me.
High Line Park amazed me. A park above the city, how does that work? There were colorful flowers and amphitheatres, a walking path, food and art vendors, and some young people just out there chilling during the middle of the day. It seemed like a place that could easily not work, and yet it absolutely did. It's an oasis of peace above the big city.
I was excited to see the Statue of Liberty this time around, as tourist-y as that might sound. I'd never seen her green copper panels up close. I got photos of her from every angle, trying as well as I could to see the writing on the book she was holding (it says July 4, 1776). Even by 2012 standards she is towering and impressive. She's an artistic as well as technological marvel. Did you know the copper on her surface is only two pennies thick, and her structure (designed by Eiffel Tower engineer Alexandre-Gustave Eiffel) is similar to that of a skyscraper?
I wondered why there were so many foreign tourists at the Statue of Liberty. I guess you really can't say you've been to America unless you've taken a picture with the Statue of Liberty in the background. No other icon says "freedom" and "America" like the Statue of Liberty.
What else in New York amazed me? My sister took me to a Brazilian restaurant where I had one of the best meals I've ever eaten, a stew of sweet shrimp and perfect sauce made of yucca root. I savored every last grain of rice and scooped every last drop of the sauce I could with my fork. The second best meal was at a bagel shop in Queens. An egg on a sesame seed bagel and hot coffee, how New York is that? I could taste the freshness of the bagel. No place in El Paso could compare.
One thing I've discovered that I like about big cities is the stores. Not that I am much of a shopper, but the variety and quality of what you can get in a big city really exceeds anything you could get in middle America. Mood had endless rolls of silks and jerseys and chiffons, feathers, buttons of every kind, and even a dog.
And two independent bookstores, St. Mark's Bookshop and The Strand, fulfilled my literary fantasies. I bought two books and a copy of New York magazine at St. Mark's and picked up a free copy of the Village Voice. The Strand has three stories! I think my fantasy New York life is of the hyper-literary sort, hanging out at coffee shops and bookstores and finding an interesting crew to talk to about news and literature, writing a column called Books and the City :-).
During this visit to New York I really took notice of all the public art -- a mosaic in a subway tunnel, a stained glass window in a subway platform, fountains and sculptures in parks around the city. I was impressed because in my older age I'm more aware that it takes money and effort to have things like that. Yes, I would rather have a functional subway over a pretty-looking subway tunnel, but a mural did give me something to ponder on my way to the next platform. It sends a definite message -- art is important. Thank you, New York.
Subway station in Queens
At City Hall Park
Fountain at Central Park
Ketchup bottle at City Hall Park
New York is a place of greatness, of imagination, of fun. Could I be a New Yorker? Maybe. I think I had the same reaction coming home as I did after my last visit. New York = fast, El Paso = sloooow. Driving home on the uncrowded freeway on a Sunday I could feel my body relax taking in the bright sunshine and still, dry air, realizing I could take as long as I needed to get home. I drove by Downtown El Paso and compared to New York it seemed like a cute dollhouse version of a downtown. Not that I have anything against our Downtown, or a slower lifestyle. They are just different speeds on the machine. Sometimes I want things to be slow. Other times I yearn for excitement and something that wows -- a giant statue to marvel at, a park above the city, a beautiful sculpture in a public park, a ride on a subway, a three-story bookstore. I *heart* New York still.
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Refined sugar fast, Day 24
I'm eating my dessert of half a banana and a small fresh apricot. I successfully resisted my mom's Rice Krispies treats.
I'm realizing that one can get used to this non-sugar lifestyle. At times this adjustment has been very difficult, but at other times it's not been difficult at all.
It is difficult when my thoughts drift to food, especially when I think about taste and texture -- what cotton candy tastes like, what jamoncillo (Mexican candy) feels like melting in my mouth. At those times it is almost unbearable not to be able to have it.
But when I don't overthink it it's fine. So what, fruit instead of ice cream at night, does it really matter? Nuts instead of M&Ms, am I really denying myself very much? My body certainly doesn't miss the extra calories.
I do think it would be hard to eliminate all sweet things from my diet. Fruit has been my saving grace during this time. I bought a package of dried figs for 98 cents this week. Those are so sweet they almost are like candy. Plus as a bonus they remind me of Fig Newton cookies.
I suppose the point of this is that there is nothing impossibly difficult about this diet, mostly it is just a few simple substitutions and some discipline to not give into the cravings.
I'm realizing that one can get used to this non-sugar lifestyle. At times this adjustment has been very difficult, but at other times it's not been difficult at all.
It is difficult when my thoughts drift to food, especially when I think about taste and texture -- what cotton candy tastes like, what jamoncillo (Mexican candy) feels like melting in my mouth. At those times it is almost unbearable not to be able to have it.
But when I don't overthink it it's fine. So what, fruit instead of ice cream at night, does it really matter? Nuts instead of M&Ms, am I really denying myself very much? My body certainly doesn't miss the extra calories.
I do think it would be hard to eliminate all sweet things from my diet. Fruit has been my saving grace during this time. I bought a package of dried figs for 98 cents this week. Those are so sweet they almost are like candy. Plus as a bonus they remind me of Fig Newton cookies.
I suppose the point of this is that there is nothing impossibly difficult about this diet, mostly it is just a few simple substitutions and some discipline to not give into the cravings.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thoughts on ZAMM
A few thoughts on Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig. I'll keep them brief since I'm no philosopher:
- I'm puzzled at the popularity of this book, since it gets pretty academic when it comes to philosophy. I suppose, as Pirsig explains in the Afterward, that it was a book that tapped into the public consciousness of the mid-70s. Still, it's dry at times, especially if you're not versed in philosophy.
- I haven't encountered a better way of thinking about technology: "The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer of the gears of a cycle transmission as does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower."
- On the other hand, the notion of "Quality" continues to mystify me. Is it really something new, or is it a new word for an old concept from Eastern or Western philosophy? The author substituted "Quality" in for "Tao" at one point, but didn't conclusively equate the two.
- I'm curious about the connection to real Zen philosophy. From Wikipedia: "Though it may not deal with orthodox Zen Buddhist practice, Pirsig's book in fact deals with many of the more subtle facets of Zen living and Zen mentality without drawing attention to any religion or religious organization."
From the Wikipedia on Japanese Zen: "Zen meditation ideally is not only concentration, but also awareness: being aware of the continuing changes in our consciousness, of all our sensations and our automatic reactions."
- I'm puzzled at the popularity of this book, since it gets pretty academic when it comes to philosophy. I suppose, as Pirsig explains in the Afterward, that it was a book that tapped into the public consciousness of the mid-70s. Still, it's dry at times, especially if you're not versed in philosophy.
- I haven't encountered a better way of thinking about technology: "The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer of the gears of a cycle transmission as does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower."
- On the other hand, the notion of "Quality" continues to mystify me. Is it really something new, or is it a new word for an old concept from Eastern or Western philosophy? The author substituted "Quality" in for "Tao" at one point, but didn't conclusively equate the two.
- I'm curious about the connection to real Zen philosophy. From Wikipedia: "Though it may not deal with orthodox Zen Buddhist practice, Pirsig's book in fact deals with many of the more subtle facets of Zen living and Zen mentality without drawing attention to any religion or religious organization."
From the Wikipedia on Japanese Zen: "Zen meditation ideally is not only concentration, but also awareness: being aware of the continuing changes in our consciousness, of all our sensations and our automatic reactions."
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Refined sugar fast: Day 21
Last night I dreamed of eating a donut at church this morning. A jelly-filled one covered in powdered sugar.
Also, I am not going to consider dunking some French fries in ketchup today as cheating on the fast. I'm just not.
Also, I am not going to consider dunking some French fries in ketchup today as cheating on the fast. I'm just not.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Refined sugar fast: Day 20
Could dessert for breakfast be the key to losing weight? It sounds too good to be true. Here is what I read in O magazine last week:
Apparently the modest breakfast eaters started to cheat on their diet while the dessert breakfast eaters had fewer cravings for sweet and fatty foods during the day. Once you look at it that way it starts to make sense. I suppose it doesn't work if you eat dessert for lunch and dinner as well :-).
In the study, two groups of overweight and obese people were instructed to consume the same number of calories daily (1,400 for women, 1,600 for men); the difference was that one group ate a modest breakfast each morning, while the other went all out with a high-calorie (600), high-carb (60 grams), high-protein (45 grams) meal that included a sugary treat. (Imagine a scramble of cottage cheese and eggs—two with the yolk, one without—on whole grain toast, an eight-ounce container of low-fat yogurt on the side, plus a fudge brownie.)
After eight months, the dessert-at-breakfast group had lost an average of 38 more pounds per person than the traditional dieters.
Apparently the modest breakfast eaters started to cheat on their diet while the dessert breakfast eaters had fewer cravings for sweet and fatty foods during the day. Once you look at it that way it starts to make sense. I suppose it doesn't work if you eat dessert for lunch and dinner as well :-).
From the LA Times' obit of actress Lupe Ontiveros:
Veteran actress Lupe Ontiveros, the El Paso-born daughter of Mexican immigrants, once estimated that she had played the role of a maid more than 150 times during her career.
That's why the 4-foot-11 actress was so overjoyed more than a decade ago when director Miguel Arteta approached her backstage after a theatrical showcase and said he had a screenplay for her to consider.
"He said, 'Look at the part of Beverly,'" Ontiveros recalled in a 2009 National Public Radio interview. "I said, 'Beverly? You said Beverly? Her name is Beverly?' And I said, 'I'll do it. I don't care what the script is about, because her name is Beverly.' It wasn't Maria Guadalupe Conchita Esperanza, this Latino stereotype."
Friday, July 27, 2012
Refined sugar fast: Day 19
I've stuck to the sugar fast since I've been back from vacation. I successfully resisted a biscocho cookie and a piece of cake at work this week. Oh, temptation.
Two things I've continued to notice this week: my skin has cleared up. The month before the fast I was really breaking out. Now I still have a couple of zits but my skin is a lot better than it was.
The second thing is I'm sleeping better. Before this I would wake up with my heart pounding during the night sometimes. That hasn't happened to me lately.
I've never had cholesterol tests so I'm not sure if my change in diet is affecting that. But I would think so. I was putting so much junk into my body and now I'm not.
I think avoiding sugar has also helped me avoid putting more fat and calories into my body. For example, now I won't have a candy bar because of the sugar. That means 200-300 fewer calories and less saturated fat in my diet.
So there are some real benefits here, but are they worth giving up the comfort of sugar? It is difficult to resist and I don't know how long I could keep it up beyond the 30 days.
Two things I've continued to notice this week: my skin has cleared up. The month before the fast I was really breaking out. Now I still have a couple of zits but my skin is a lot better than it was.
The second thing is I'm sleeping better. Before this I would wake up with my heart pounding during the night sometimes. That hasn't happened to me lately.
I've never had cholesterol tests so I'm not sure if my change in diet is affecting that. But I would think so. I was putting so much junk into my body and now I'm not.
I think avoiding sugar has also helped me avoid putting more fat and calories into my body. For example, now I won't have a candy bar because of the sugar. That means 200-300 fewer calories and less saturated fat in my diet.
So there are some real benefits here, but are they worth giving up the comfort of sugar? It is difficult to resist and I don't know how long I could keep it up beyond the 30 days.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Refined sugar fast: Day 16
I think I am going to eat a bag full of jelly beans on Wednesday, Aug. 8. I can't get sugar off the brain.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Refined sugar fast: Day 15
I cheated on the refined sugar fast six times while I was on vacation in NYC:
- 1/2 cup of gelato in the Chelsea Market. Dolce latte flavor.
- Bowl of Oatmeal Squares with milk on two mornings.
- 1/3 of a tiramisu (split with my mom and sister) at an Italian restaurant
- 1/2 cinnamon raisin bagel when I was really hungry at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
- 1/2 Au Bon Pain blueberry muffin at the Denver Airport.
I might have passed on these but come on, this was vacation and I didn't want to be that kind of stick in the mud. I didn't want to make a big fuss in the mornings because there was no sugar-free option available or turn down a dessert that everyone else was sharing in. I admit, I also just didn't want to have my mom worry that I might be starving myself. My mom does worry, a lot.
I have to give myself a little bit of a break because on other occasions I would have eaten my way through New York one sugary treat at a time. The temptations are abundant. Gelato, pastries, coffee drinks, lemonade, Italian ice, popsicles, cupcakes and crepes lurk on nearly every corner of the city. My mouth waters just thinking of the food in NYC.
Funny how I did notice a certain sluggishness in my body after eating sugar again. A big bowl of cereal made me want to nap about two hours later. It really made my mind sluggish. And tiramisu, while absolutely delicious, may not be the best way to finish off your meal after eating a huge bowl of pasta.
One fear is I'm starting to pick up other food vices. I drank plenty of coffee on the trip (black or with milk or cream). Am I trying to replace that sugar rush with caffeine? Also, I could easily fall into the trap of drinking a 100% juice drink when I feel a sugar craving -- technically non-sugared but the idea behind the fast is to try to reduce the constant cravings for sweetness. That's also why I haven't done diet soda or Truvia-sweetened pastries. I haven't even touched Extra chewing gum, as I think these products feed into the sugar craving even if they don't have the same number or calories.
- 1/2 cup of gelato in the Chelsea Market. Dolce latte flavor.
- Bowl of Oatmeal Squares with milk on two mornings.
- 1/3 of a tiramisu (split with my mom and sister) at an Italian restaurant
- 1/2 cinnamon raisin bagel when I was really hungry at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
- 1/2 Au Bon Pain blueberry muffin at the Denver Airport.
I might have passed on these but come on, this was vacation and I didn't want to be that kind of stick in the mud. I didn't want to make a big fuss in the mornings because there was no sugar-free option available or turn down a dessert that everyone else was sharing in. I admit, I also just didn't want to have my mom worry that I might be starving myself. My mom does worry, a lot.
I have to give myself a little bit of a break because on other occasions I would have eaten my way through New York one sugary treat at a time. The temptations are abundant. Gelato, pastries, coffee drinks, lemonade, Italian ice, popsicles, cupcakes and crepes lurk on nearly every corner of the city. My mouth waters just thinking of the food in NYC.
Funny how I did notice a certain sluggishness in my body after eating sugar again. A big bowl of cereal made me want to nap about two hours later. It really made my mind sluggish. And tiramisu, while absolutely delicious, may not be the best way to finish off your meal after eating a huge bowl of pasta.
One fear is I'm starting to pick up other food vices. I drank plenty of coffee on the trip (black or with milk or cream). Am I trying to replace that sugar rush with caffeine? Also, I could easily fall into the trap of drinking a 100% juice drink when I feel a sugar craving -- technically non-sugared but the idea behind the fast is to try to reduce the constant cravings for sweetness. That's also why I haven't done diet soda or Truvia-sweetened pastries. I haven't even touched Extra chewing gum, as I think these products feed into the sugar craving even if they don't have the same number or calories.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Refined sugar fast, Day 8
The refined sugar fast is getting easier. I think the weekend has been the hardest time so far because it is typically the time I allow myself to enjoy food more. On weekdays I eat pretty humdrum food.
I am starting to eat a lot of nuts. Whenever I eat them that song from an old commercial goes through my head, "Sometimes you feel like a nut..." I am starting to feel like a nut, for sure. But the thing is, nuts *are* a much better snack than say, a cookie. They leave you feeling more satisfied, not like a cookie where you always want at least one more, if not two or three.
I do feel more energetic in a lot of ways. I sleep better and I have less anxiety about my weight. On the other hand I've noticed this tension in myself, especially when I think about food. I suppose the feeling is one where I think to myself, can't I *ever* relax? Because food used to be how I relieved anxiety. Maybe that is the next step in this progression, to find another way to deal with stress.
I am starting to eat a lot of nuts. Whenever I eat them that song from an old commercial goes through my head, "Sometimes you feel like a nut..." I am starting to feel like a nut, for sure. But the thing is, nuts *are* a much better snack than say, a cookie. They leave you feeling more satisfied, not like a cookie where you always want at least one more, if not two or three.
I do feel more energetic in a lot of ways. I sleep better and I have less anxiety about my weight. On the other hand I've noticed this tension in myself, especially when I think about food. I suppose the feeling is one where I think to myself, can't I *ever* relax? Because food used to be how I relieved anxiety. Maybe that is the next step in this progression, to find another way to deal with stress.
New York, Part 2
I'm going to New York City tomorrow. Some random notes:
- I'm going to see the Statue of Liberty up close this time, not from the Staten Island ferry. We're also going to see the 9/11 Memorial.
- We have tickets to the musical Memphis. According to Wikipedia, it won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2010.
- I asked on Facebook about things to see and do. I got conflicting answers on whether to eat hot dogs from street vendors. My coworker told me to go to the Burger Joint in Le Parker Meridien hotel. Hmm, $7.35 for a cheeseburger and that doesn't include French fries. Grimaldi's pizza sure looks good, though.
- Weather in New York tomorrow: High of 98 and partly cloudy. In comparison it's going to be 95 in El Paso tomorrow. My sister has advised me to take an umbrella.
- I've asked my sister to take me to a real NYC bookstore that's not Barnes and Noble's. Not sure where she's taking me, but Gothamist has 10 cool bookstores where I would love to hang out. I envision that as my third trip to New York, a tour of bookstores and nothing else.
- I'm planning to take way more photos than I did in 2008. Here's what I wrote at the time. I wonder if the subways still smell like a public restroom. I bet they do. Also I'm not planning any studio tours this time. On my first trip I was quite enthralled by the NBC tour.
- I'm going to see the Statue of Liberty up close this time, not from the Staten Island ferry. We're also going to see the 9/11 Memorial.
- We have tickets to the musical Memphis. According to Wikipedia, it won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2010.
- I asked on Facebook about things to see and do. I got conflicting answers on whether to eat hot dogs from street vendors. My coworker told me to go to the Burger Joint in Le Parker Meridien hotel. Hmm, $7.35 for a cheeseburger and that doesn't include French fries. Grimaldi's pizza sure looks good, though.
- Weather in New York tomorrow: High of 98 and partly cloudy. In comparison it's going to be 95 in El Paso tomorrow. My sister has advised me to take an umbrella.
- I've asked my sister to take me to a real NYC bookstore that's not Barnes and Noble's. Not sure where she's taking me, but Gothamist has 10 cool bookstores where I would love to hang out. I envision that as my third trip to New York, a tour of bookstores and nothing else.
- I'm planning to take way more photos than I did in 2008. Here's what I wrote at the time. I wonder if the subways still smell like a public restroom. I bet they do. Also I'm not planning any studio tours this time. On my first trip I was quite enthralled by the NBC tour.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Check it out: my blog friend Stu has an instantly addictive interview series called The Sunday Seven.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Day 5: Refined sugar fast
Today was rocky on the sugar fast front. It's my habit on a Friday afternoon to have a nice sugary coffee drink at Starbucks. I decided to forgo Starbucks altogether after realizing that it would be torturous to go there and not be able to order what I *really* wanted. I didn't want to have to look at the display of muffins, cakes, pies, cake pops and cookies or see someone order one of those million-calorie drinks like the Caramel Frappuccino.
I thought about my options at Starbucks and there are a few that come to mind: regular hot coffee (milk or cream but no sugar), iced coffee, non-sugared iced tea, juice or water. As for regular food, my options are oatmeal or a banana. I've seen some stores sell sandwich items, I guess those could be an option, too.
So it wouldn't be sure disaster to go into a Starbucks. But it's funny how when it comes to food it comes down to a primal craving. When I want to feel better after a long week of work, sugar + caffeine at Starbucks is what I use to relax. It is very difficult to deny myself this comfort.
I thought the sugar fast would get easier after the first few days. In some ways it has as I find out what foods I can make a habit of eating that don't have sugar in them -- fresh and dried fruits, vegetables, oatmeal, nuts, etc. But in some ways it is harder, as it gets harder to deny myself things like chocolate and cookies and cupcakes that I enjoy, but more than that use almost like a drug to feel better during my day.
Here is a big question I am asking myself: Emotionally, am I happier when I periodically pacify myself with sugary treats, or happier when I can control what I eat and reap the benefits? So far I really can't tell.
One perspective is that it doesn't matter, it is all what you get used to. Now that I've stopped using sugar as a mood booster, other things can replace it. When I'm used to this diet I won't even miss sugar, I imagine.
But a second perspective is the "everything in moderation" view. If I allowed myself one sugary treat per day, I don't think it would put me on the path to diabetes and heart disease. It would bring me a little pleasure, a little temporary happiness and that is nice once in a while. Do I really need to not eat a brownie for the rest of my life?
For now it is benefitting me to go without sugar for awhile 1) to realize I can do it, 2) to realize what exactly I'm doing to my body by eating so much sugar. From there I can decide how much I will allow myself once the 30 days are over.
I thought about my options at Starbucks and there are a few that come to mind: regular hot coffee (milk or cream but no sugar), iced coffee, non-sugared iced tea, juice or water. As for regular food, my options are oatmeal or a banana. I've seen some stores sell sandwich items, I guess those could be an option, too.
So it wouldn't be sure disaster to go into a Starbucks. But it's funny how when it comes to food it comes down to a primal craving. When I want to feel better after a long week of work, sugar + caffeine at Starbucks is what I use to relax. It is very difficult to deny myself this comfort.
I thought the sugar fast would get easier after the first few days. In some ways it has as I find out what foods I can make a habit of eating that don't have sugar in them -- fresh and dried fruits, vegetables, oatmeal, nuts, etc. But in some ways it is harder, as it gets harder to deny myself things like chocolate and cookies and cupcakes that I enjoy, but more than that use almost like a drug to feel better during my day.
Here is a big question I am asking myself: Emotionally, am I happier when I periodically pacify myself with sugary treats, or happier when I can control what I eat and reap the benefits? So far I really can't tell.
One perspective is that it doesn't matter, it is all what you get used to. Now that I've stopped using sugar as a mood booster, other things can replace it. When I'm used to this diet I won't even miss sugar, I imagine.
But a second perspective is the "everything in moderation" view. If I allowed myself one sugary treat per day, I don't think it would put me on the path to diabetes and heart disease. It would bring me a little pleasure, a little temporary happiness and that is nice once in a while. Do I really need to not eat a brownie for the rest of my life?
For now it is benefitting me to go without sugar for awhile 1) to realize I can do it, 2) to realize what exactly I'm doing to my body by eating so much sugar. From there I can decide how much I will allow myself once the 30 days are over.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
It's the year 2012, why can't women have a high-flying career and a family, too?
Can women have it all? Not in today's America, Princeton professor Anne-Marie Slaughter says in the most recent issue of The Atlantic, and she shares her own story demonstrate. Slaughter left a top-level State Department job after two years to spend more time with her husband and two teenage boys. After years of being able to make her own schedule, with much success, she found a demanding job with a rigidly structured schedule took too much of a toll on her family life. It's a discouraging message: If a highly motivated and intelligent woman like this can't make it work, who can?
Slaughter says the lack of women in top positions is not a problem with women not being committed enough, or not being ambitious enough. Rather it is a work structure -- a rigid schedule, a mindset that rewards long hours -- that was not built with women's lives in mind:
(Facebook COO Sheryl) Sandberg thinks that “something” is an “ambition gap”—that women do not dream big enough. I am all for encouraging young women to reach for the stars. But I fear that the obstacles that keep women from reaching the top are rather more prosaic than the scope of their ambition. My longtime and invaluable assistant, who has a doctorate and juggles many balls as the mother of teenage twins, e-mailed me while I was working on this article: “You know what would help the vast majority of women with work/family balance? MAKE SCHOOL SCHEDULES MATCH WORK SCHEDULES.”
She provides concrete examples of things that could be changed in the workplace, including flexible schedules, use of technology and scheduling in-person meetings during the school day.
In the meantime, Slaughter advises women to have kids before 35 (or freeze their eggs) and plan for their career peaks to be later, late 50s-early 60s (when the kids are out of the house) rather than late 40s-early 50s:
Along the way, women should think about the climb to leadership not in terms of a straight upward slope, but as irregular stair steps, with periodic plateaus (and even dips) when they turn down promotions to remain in a job that works for their family situation; when they leave high-powered jobs and spend a year or two at home on a reduced schedule; or when they step off a conventional professional track to take a consulting position or project-based work for a number of years.
I found this article to be both sad and hopeful. Sad because women *still* have to make these tougher than tough choices, when men often don't. It seems usually the result of the choice is that the family wins and women don't make it to top positions, and because of the lack of women at the top it seems we will be waiting even longer for change. But also hopeful because her solutions seem doable, if as she says it is a matter of prosaic issues like scheduling that hold back working mothers. Flexible schedules are more possible than ever with technology, and work-family balance seems to be becoming a more important priority both for men and women in today's workplace.
I also think it's brave for someone to be so candid about the problems women face in the workplace, and to risk being called a failure or not committed enough because she is willing to share her own story. Bringing that level of honesty into the conversation is a great step in the right direction.
Even more with Anne-Marie Slaughter:An interview on NPR's Fresh Air
Video with the story from The Atlantic:
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Day 3: Refined sugar fast
As I write this I'm eating my breakfast of two pieces of toast, three strawberries and a glass of milk. Not bad for a quickly thrown together non-sugar meal.
I am definitely noticing the roles that sugar plays in my typical day. Yesterday I threw away a fortune cookie and dodged a suggestion from my sister to go get ice cream. I had a big lunch, but even then I would normally at some kind of sugary snack to get me through lunch and dinner, especially a long gap on the days I work the night shift. Minus the ice cream I got hungry around 7 p.m., at which point I ate some nuts. If I get hungry at work I usually buy a candy bar, but this time I actually had something healthy to eat.
I also normally would have something sugary upon arriving home very early in the morning, maybe a couple of cookies. I did get the craving as scheduled, but this time I had some Cheez-Its. Are Cheez-Its violating the spirit of this whole experiment, since I think they are considered junk food? Is refined flour much better than refined sugar? Still better than a candy bar, I suppose.
One thing I notice three days in is that I'm having less "food anxiety." While I am scrutinizing my food choices more I'm not worrying as much as I usually do afterward about packing on pounds. For example, if I had eaten that ice cream I would have enjoyed it for sure, but I would also have been anxious later about what it was doing to my body. Anxiety gone.
So far I'm not noticing any huge changes -- no huge boost in energy, major weight loss, or changes in my skin. Mostly it is subtle changes for the better -- a little more energy, a little less anxiety, and some weight loss instead of weight gain. But maybe the changes will become more noticeable as I keep going with it.
I am definitely noticing the roles that sugar plays in my typical day. Yesterday I threw away a fortune cookie and dodged a suggestion from my sister to go get ice cream. I had a big lunch, but even then I would normally at some kind of sugary snack to get me through lunch and dinner, especially a long gap on the days I work the night shift. Minus the ice cream I got hungry around 7 p.m., at which point I ate some nuts. If I get hungry at work I usually buy a candy bar, but this time I actually had something healthy to eat.
I also normally would have something sugary upon arriving home very early in the morning, maybe a couple of cookies. I did get the craving as scheduled, but this time I had some Cheez-Its. Are Cheez-Its violating the spirit of this whole experiment, since I think they are considered junk food? Is refined flour much better than refined sugar? Still better than a candy bar, I suppose.
One thing I notice three days in is that I'm having less "food anxiety." While I am scrutinizing my food choices more I'm not worrying as much as I usually do afterward about packing on pounds. For example, if I had eaten that ice cream I would have enjoyed it for sure, but I would also have been anxious later about what it was doing to my body. Anxiety gone.
So far I'm not noticing any huge changes -- no huge boost in energy, major weight loss, or changes in my skin. Mostly it is subtle changes for the better -- a little more energy, a little less anxiety, and some weight loss instead of weight gain. But maybe the changes will become more noticeable as I keep going with it.
Monday, July 09, 2012
Day 1: Refined sugar fast
Today began my 30 days of no refined sugar. Breakfast went well. I poured a cup of water into five-minute quick-cooking oats and it came out surprisingly nice, very al dente. For flavor I sliced up a couple of strawberries to put on top. It was a little bitter compared to my usual sugar-fest breakfast but it was good.
Did I feel better than usual? I skipped that mid-morning lull that I usually get once the sugar is digested, at which point I usually feel hungry again. I think I also didn't feel quite as full as I usually do, by 11:30 I was ready to devour something else.
Lunch was leftovers, lots of vegetables plus chicken and couscous. I didn't even eat the apple I packed to go with it, it was so filling.
And then -- the first real test of my fast. My coworker brought me a perfect star-shaped cake cooked with strawberries and blueberries that looked SO good. OMG, I thought about breaking into the cake with my fingers and tasting the flavor of the berries and SUGAR. Instead I said thank you and tucked it into my bag. Ugh, sugar is so associated with pleasure for me.
I normally don't go for such self-denial but I made a pledge. I'm sure more temptations are up ahead. I'm talking like the cake is an evil trap sent by the devil, ha ha. But really I hate getting into the idea that food is bad. No, that cake in itself isn't bad, but on a typical day I'd eat that plus sugar with every meal, then dessert...well, you get the idea.
On to Day 2.
Did I feel better than usual? I skipped that mid-morning lull that I usually get once the sugar is digested, at which point I usually feel hungry again. I think I also didn't feel quite as full as I usually do, by 11:30 I was ready to devour something else.
Lunch was leftovers, lots of vegetables plus chicken and couscous. I didn't even eat the apple I packed to go with it, it was so filling.
And then -- the first real test of my fast. My coworker brought me a perfect star-shaped cake cooked with strawberries and blueberries that looked SO good. OMG, I thought about breaking into the cake with my fingers and tasting the flavor of the berries and SUGAR. Instead I said thank you and tucked it into my bag. Ugh, sugar is so associated with pleasure for me.
I normally don't go for such self-denial but I made a pledge. I'm sure more temptations are up ahead. I'm talking like the cake is an evil trap sent by the devil, ha ha. But really I hate getting into the idea that food is bad. No, that cake in itself isn't bad, but on a typical day I'd eat that plus sugar with every meal, then dessert...well, you get the idea.
On to Day 2.
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