Friday, September 28, 2012

Another Friday night. I'm hyped up instead of tired, possibly because of the Cafe Mocha I had at Starbucks. Though halfway through drinking it I was convinced it was actually hot chocolate because it tasted really sweet and not coffee-like.

Lately I've been obsessing over time management. It just seems like I have so little free time that I wonder exactly what I should be doing with the time I do have. Web design seems to fit the bill, since it's both creative and an investment in my career. Spending time with people is a must, for my sanity mostly. No, seriously, because it's the right thing to do, and it makes all other things seem unimportant. That leaves a tiny little sliver for other pursuits, and that's the part I obsess about. I wonder if TV should be a part of that time at all, or if I should cut out Project Runway and Chopped. Should I use it for extra sleep? Read a novel? Write a tweet? Write a blog post? Research money or health or fashion? Watch a movie? Read about spirituality? Do more work stuff? I'm always convinced there is something I'm not doing that I should be doing, some area of my life I'm lagging in that one day is going to come back to haunt me.

I even turned to the Internet and came upon some tables, charts and tips. Really, most of this stuff is common sense or things I've already read over the years. But I think it shows my desperation.

It is a situation that calls for asking myself some tough questions, like what is *really* important to me? Where is my heart, really, as evidenced by how I spend my time? I ask myself, if I'm doing A, then I'm giving up B, so is thing A really, truly worth doing? Ugh, maybe I am obsessing about this too much. Or maybe I need to quit some things so as to free up more time so I don't feel like this.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Craft project

I actually managed to do a craft project today, which is funny because I never do craft projects. I was cleaning out my closet and saw two shoeboxes that I was keeping hoping to find some use for them. I tried to think of something to do with the boxes when I thought of this idea of using the lids to display some of the ridiculous number of photos I have. I used a shish kebab skewer and some yarn to rig the hanging of the bottom lid. After doing some adjustments to the yarn length, I hung it up and wow, it worked. My mind doesn't usually see craft projects around every corner, much less actually execute them, so I am quite proud of my improvised project.

Last night my mom, sister and I went to Red Lobster to celebrate my mom's birthday. I was unbelievably tired. Why this week felt like one of the longest I've ever lived I'm not quite sure. As I looked at the faces of my mom and sister I read they felt exactly as tired as I was. I joked that we should all go home and take a nap instead.

Is this what it means in general to work, to feel so tired at the end of the week you can barely enjoy a nice dinner? We work in three different professions -- teaching, news and restaurant management -- but all achieved the same intense level of weariness. I know work is by definition supposed to take something out of you, but should it take every last speck of energy you have?

Some cheddar biscuits and fried shrimp helped bring some energy back to us. But it was a pretty lackluster celebration and I was in bed by 10 per my usual Friday night routine.

Monday, September 03, 2012

Monday night

I've been so swamped lately. I crave down time like chocolate. A moment that is purely unscheduled, time to go to a coffee shop and sit around for an hour. Coffee shop time didn't happen this week.

I'm now eating sugar again and in some ways it is fantastic, but my tummy fat is, um, growing back. I catch myself eating for comfort at the end of a long day. I dove into a Dove bar last week and it tasted fantastic. At least now I can stop at half a large bar. I have also made banana bread and can actually eat a slice myself. Eh, but I've been trying to put a lid on the comfort food. I think life is pretty pathetic when the highlight of a day is eating a chocolate bar or drinking a Frappuccino.

I think the same rule of problem drinking applies with eating -- if you're eating desserts alone you would probably be better off not doing it. Chocolate cake on a special occasion, not to numb yourself after a long day at work.